From never fighting with each other to always having a weekly date night, these are some goals that might not be so great for all couples and Bustle talked to a couple experts who say that these are the goals to watch out for because they may seem healthy, but they can actually be toxic.
- Never fighting with each other- It’s unrealistic because all couples have disagreements and stuffing all your feelings in or not talking to your partner about what’s going on can lead to resentment and anger.
- Making each other the center of your worlds- This is the number one most toxic relationship goal, according to certified life coachMitzi Bockmann. Making your partner a priority is important, but dedicating your whole life to making them happy isn’t good for you.
- Following modern trends to be seen as a "cool" couple- Social media makes it easier than ever to set goals based on what everyone else is doing, but that doesn’t mean it’s good foryourrelationship. Compromising your values to follow a trend can be toxic, so forget what’s “cool” and do what matters to you.
- Living together by six months and being engaged by one year- Setting a strict timeline like this can be toxic for a couple. All relationships move at their own pace and it’s okay to take your time with each milestone.
- Setting a weekly date night- If date night feels like a routine or a chore, it’s time to shake things up. This is supposed to be quality time with the one you love, so try switching to one date a month and really try to reconnect.
- Aligning your futures- Sure, you and your S.O. are a team, but you’re also individuals who have separate career and future goals. Supporting your partner on their path is important, but not if you have to compromise your plans to do it.
- Splitting everything 50/50- Equality is good, but keeping score? Not so much. In a healthy relationship, it’s okay for one partner to give without expecting anything in return.