Five Questions You Should Avoid Over Thanksgiving Dinner
“Why aren’t you in a relationship?”/“What happened to so-and-so?”Even if it’s coming from a good place, just avoid prying into someone’s relationship status altogether. Why bring up painful memories or trauma? They’re already feeling lonely enough during the cuffing season without you digging.
“When are you getting married?”Marriage “is a sensitive area and many people prefer to be private about their relationships, so proceed with caution,” says psychotherapistGinger Poag.You’ll know when someone is getting married when you get an invitation in the mail.But if you keep on prying, you’ll probably be off the guest list in no time.
“Did you lose/gain weight?”Even though you think you’re being nice by telling someone they’re looking healthier, you’re actually not.Chelsea Woodard, a director at an eating disorder clinic, says complimenting weight loss really means what you value about someone is their appearance. This can “cause fear that if their weight increases, people will judge them or think they look bad.”It will also make them feel weird about getting seconds, and who doesn’t like seconds?
“When are you going to have kids?”Would you ask someone when they’re having unprotected sex next?No?Then why would you bring up starting or expanding a family? There are lots of factors that go into this type of decision like relationship status, financial standing, and fertility, andnone of them are your business.
“You’re voting for who?”In case you missed it, we’re currently living in one of the most divided moments in US history, so maybe skip the politics this holiday season. “There is a time and place for these discussions in various relationships, but a family gathering with others who might not know you as well, it can be something that makes or breaks a gathering,” saysCraig Dike, a clinical psychologist.