How to Actually Flirt on a First Date, According to Experts

How confident are you in your flirting skills? Being a good flirt takes subtlety because you don’t want to come on too strong and prematurely shut down a vibe. Flirting is a way to connect and show you're interested without saying it out loud, but it’s delicate. And if you need a little refresher in flirting technique, relationship expertsDr. Tina B. Tessinaand psychologist Dr.Joshua Kaplowsuggest these tips for showing your interest and sparking feelings on a first date.

  • It's all in the eyes- Eye contact is a great flirting tool because it makes a nonverbal statement and it’s intimate. Dr. Tessina advises locking eyes momentarily, then switching your gaze to their face or something else so you don’t stare them down.
  • Match their energy- Try following your date’s flirtation little by little. So if they brush your knee with their knee, try matching that or touching their foot with yours, or leaving your knee touching theirs to see if they pull away.
  • Consider the context- Show your sense of humor and kindness by flirting with your witty words and being polite and engaged in conversation.
  • Listening is hot- Pay attention to what your date says and respond by contributing your own experience. And when you’re ready to “toss the conversational ball” back to them, use a question like “What do you think?” or “Have you ever had that happen?” These experts say being a good listener is fuel for flirtation.

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