Sometimes we go out with someone for the first time and there’s no connection or interest in going out again. It happens and we get it, logically, if not emotionally. But when someone ends a date with an enthusiastic “I had a great time, let’s do this again!” but never calls or blows you off when you reach out, that’s a problem. When a date is meh and you know it’s the last you’re going to have with someone, don’t say you’ll text and that you want it to happen again. This is what you should do instead.
- Don’t lie - If you know you aren’t going to text them again, don’t say you will. If you’re not into someone, don’t give mixed signals that you are. It’s only been one date, they won’t be heartbroken, so just don’t lie.
- Be kind - You don’t have to be face-to-face to tell someone you don’t want to see them again and you don’t need to give them a reason why. Just try not to imply that you will see them again, that you’re into them, or that you’ll be contacting them soon.
- Don’t linger - If your date isn’t going well, don’t drag it out and make it last longer. Don’t suggest dinner after drinks or ask for the dessert menu. Just end it and get out of there. No one’s suggesting you ditch them after excusing yourself to the bathroom, but try saying something like “I have to get going, but it was so nice to meet you.”
- Don’t mess it up - That means don’t sleep with someone after going on a first date with them and knowing you don’t want a second. If it’s a Tinder hookup, that’s different. But if you already know you’ll be “slammed at work” when your date reaches out next week, keep it simple and say goodbye before sex.