A bagel slicer?
A self-stirring coffee mug? Yes! The article says:
During the grogginess of the morning, even stirring your coffee can seem like too much. But this self-stirring coffee mug takes care of the problem by stirring your cream into your coffee with the push of a button. Plus, it’s easy to hand wash and saves you from dirtying a spoon, and reviewers say it makes for a fun gag gift.
YES, you lazy person you! You need these things!
Check out the entire list with descriptions and links to buy, here.