Ten Things That Suck


These things suck.

But the funny thing is, they're supposed to be things we like.  I mean, we all this mosquito bites and slow lines at the drive thru suck, so there's no point in listing those.

Here are ten things that some people like but I hold the strong personal opinion that they suck.

Let's get started.

The Cherry and the Spoon.  Why does it exist?  Minneapolis has nothing to do with spoons and cherries. In fact, what do cherries even have to do with spoons?  Nothing. The guy who designed this had never been to Minneapolis and thought we had snow here year round so it would look like an ice cream sundae.

This sucks.

Celery sucks.  And this celery here looks dirty.

Yappy little dogs suck.   And I'm a dog lover so that's a hard one for me to admit.

The Kardashians suck.  We all know this.

Calamari sucks.  

Hey, would you like some rubbery, tasteless fried s**t that you can dip in marinara to disguise that it tastes like crap? Let's order some calamari!

Opera sucks.  I can't understand the words and I don't like sitting still for that long.

Potato salad sucks.  This staple of American picnics gets a big "pass" from me.

Dance recitals suck.  The costumes are outrageously expensive and it's awful to wait through 47 other group to see your kid come on and stand in the back behind the other kids so you can't see her.

Mushrooms are gross. Why would anyone eat them?  I tried to get a change.org petition to ban them from pizzas but for some reason it was quickly yanked off the website.

G-Easy sucks.  He has NOTHING original about him, he steals his style from every other basic rapper and his rap in "Him and I" is embarrassing.

Thanks for looking!  Now, I'll go back to being super-positive!  :-)


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