The "Hallmark Christmas Movie Drinking Game" Checklist


Emily listens to our show on iHeart Radio in Irvine, California and she heard us talking about how I'd watched a lame Lifetime movie over the weekend.  It reminded her of how her and her friends play a drinking game while watching Hallmark Christmas movies.

Take a drink when any of the following happens:

* Means "See footnote at the bottom"

1. Main character is a single parent

2. Ugly sweaters

3. Annoying ex/current fiancé/gf/bf

4. It starts to snow

5. Someone says "Merry Christmas"

*6. Realization with clarinets 

7. Singing Christmas carols

8. Flagrant tugging of heartstrings (oh no, all Timmy wants for Christmas is for his dad to come home!)

9. Someone doubts the existence of Santa Claus

10. Hallmark misunderstanding (I think you can figure out this one)

11. Romantic Intervention by parents/relative

12. Fake background

13. A proposal

14. Baking Christmas goods

15. Getting snowed in

16. Sassy best friend

*17. Hot cocoa 

18. Trying on Christmas outfits montage (bonus for sassy bf)

19. Christmas Miracle (Timmy can walk again!!)

20. Picking the runt tree on the lot

*21. Santa!!

22. Saying the name of the movie

23. Obvious sponsors (I'm looking at you, Folgers)

24. Sleigh bell sounds

25. Acknowledge Judaism

26. Sleigh ride

*27. Hallmark science

28. Corporate America being evil

29. Michael Bublé 

30. Fireplace cuddles

6. Realization with clarinets - Basically whenever something quirky happens in the plot and the music reflects it with funny "doodly" phrases from reed instruments (it's one of those "you know it when you hear it" things - you could always leave this one off if it is too weird?)

17. Hot cocoa - our group gets really excited about this rule.  One time, a character was clutching two coffee mugs while talking to another character, and everyone was gathered around the screen yelling "IS IT HOT COCOA? DO WE HAVE HOT COCOA??", until finally, they said "oh, I brought you some hot cocoa." The whole room erupted.

21. Santa - We were watching Mariah Carey's A Christmas Melody (which, by the way, fulfills almost all the items on this list).  The movie opens with a bearded janitor cleaning at a school, and one of my friends declared "That's Santa."  Lo and behold, at the end of the movie, we find out that that was, indeed, Santa!

27. Hallmark Science.  Whenever something defies the logic of time and physics because... Hallmark!  But I suppose this could be combined with "Christmas Miracle"?  Example: someone completes what should be a 10 hour drive (in snow), in 2 hours.