Missing Finger Monday: 'She Was Watching the Bachelor While I Was Losing a Digit'

Chris's story...

So i was doing some woodworking in the garage. My jointer caught the tip of my glove, sucked it right into the blades. I kicked on my garage door to get my wife's attention. She finally came down, I think she was watching the bachelor. I told her, I just cut my finger off. She said ,what!!! I uncovered my finger and she kinda freaked. I told her i needed a clean rag, she cleans houses so there was a stack of clean ones right behind her. The door shut. I waited and waited. So i kicked the door again. The door opened and she had a bad of ice. I told her, that wasnt going to work. My finger is gone, i told her. Bless her for thinking. I said ," i just need to get to the hospital. So off we go. We get to the Princeton emergency room. I walk in holding my finger above my head. The nurse asked" can i help you?" I replied. I just cut my finger off. She then says, "have a seat we will get right to you". I then reply ,"i am starting to feel light headed." Oh ok, she says. We will will get your blood pressure then get you a room. My wife said about this time i was white as a ghost. I told the nurse to just get me a room, trust me. So they did. 5 minutes later a different nurse comes in and says," on a scale of 1-10 how bad is the pain? I replied with," considering i cut my finger off 20 minutes ago it hurts like hell. So they gave me pain meds and shot something into my finger and numbed it all.There was no orthopedic surgeon there so they had to load me into an ambulance and bring me to north memorial. Of course its my right index finger. The worst possible to cut off. Makes for good tricks for my nephews. I suppose and people in traffic. Looks like i have my finger way up my nose. Funny. Thanks alotChris

Tim's story...

I had the pleasure of joining the nub club a couple of years back. I was working on a piece of heavy equipment trying to find a leaking hydraulic hose. It sprayed a couple of times and when I tried the machine for a third time, it didn't spray. When I went to push in what I thought was a failed hose, it decided to spray 3000+ psi hydraulic oil into my finger. No it didn't blow the finger apart but it did inject my finger full of wonderfully hot hydraulic fluid. I told the doctor to snip it of when I was brought to the hospital but he said nahhh, well try to save it. Another way of saying lets make a 100k and put you through misery. Two weeks went by with the tissue slowly dying and turning completely black and green and stinking like a rotten deli sandwich. I could fill a joke book with nub jokes I've heard and can flip people off in an passive aggressive way with me feeling the satisfaction of flipping them of without them even realizing it.Tim

 I lost my left pinky when I was 7 years old. I was playing with some kids on a gate to an entrance of a paved trail for walking. They swing on a metal post in the ground. But both the pole and the gate have holes that you can line up and put a bolt and lock through. Basically I had my finger in the two holes (no bolt or anything through them) and a kid swung the gate so the hole in the metal post in the ground held my finger while the gate sliced it clean off.

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