The vacation bug.
Once on a spring break vacation, my family went to Florida for a week. There were six of us and we all got a stomach bug that caused us to vomit for 24 hours. We all got it, but no one had it at the same time. Someone was sick everyday of our vacation. It was disgusting.
The gone off milk drama.
Once on a family vacation to Disneyland my brother and I ordered milk for breakfast before heading out for the day. We both took two sips and then stopped because it tasted weird. My mom didn’t believe us and made us drink all of it because it was $6 a glass.
On the drive to Disneyland I started feeling really ill, but my parents thought I was just car sick and gave me a sick bag.
I threw up everywhere. Then my brother did. When we got back to our car in the evening my brother slid into the back seat and landed in a pile of vomit - turns out I hadn’t quite got it all into the bag. My rotten milk puke baked in the sun in our car for eight hours. Thank god it was a rental, because it still smelled like throw up when we returned it seven days later.
My family and I stayed in a “hotel” (can I even call it that?) with bats in the ceiling, poop on the walls, and we had to use bath towels for blankets.
The ash scattering cruise.
I went on a cruise with my grandma and she tried to scatter my great-grandpa’s ashes off the back of the boat. I ended up rinsing my grandpa off about four levels of the ship with a cup of water.
The classic camping fail.
We left the for our trip before dawn and after about a six hour car journey arrived at our campsite. Mom and dad cracked open a beer each to celebrate being so organised. They got the tent out then started looking for the poles. Cue a “I thought you packed them” conversation. Luckily we had a small tent which my Mom and brothers were able to stay the night in, Dad and I made the 460 mile round trip to get the poles.
The plane poo problem.
My brother had just turned one when we went to Disney World for the first time, and I was 10. I was sitting on the plane beside my mom, and my brother started screaming. We thought it was because his ears were popping, but it turned out he had the worst diarrhea ever. It was everywhere; on the seat, on my mom, on my brother. The flight attendant brought us CLUB SODA to “fix the problem” and a garbage bag and paper towels. They wouldn’t let my mom get up because the seat belt light wasn’t off yet. She made holes in the garbage bag and tied it at his waist, sat him on her lap, and waited. Worst flight ever, but it’s completely laughable now.
While on vacation my dad thought it would be a great idea to wear his twenty year old Speedo to the hotel pool. He also thought it would be a great idea to jump off the diving board to impress his 6-year-old and 9-year-old daughters. Luckily I turned away just in time to avoid seeing my father’s package as his Speedo slipped off his body when he dived into the pool. Unfortunately, my older sister and mother were too slow to notice what was coming for them. We’ve been laughing about it at family dinners ever since then!
The broken elevator.
My family and I were on vacation in Paris. After a long day of walking around, we didn’t want to take the stairs back to the seventh floor. So we all squeezed into the tiny elevator. After about one floor, the elevator stopped. We pressed the emergency button, and the poor woman on the other end couldn’t understand anything we were saying. My family and I were stuck in there for about an hour. We were finally saved, but we had to crawl out with the chance of being cut in half. The elevator was broken for the rest of our trip, so every day after that we had to take the seven flights of stairs up to our room.
It’s Horrible Before It Even Begins. Ran out of diapers 3 hours into a 7 hour flight with a toddler who developed explosive diarrhea.