The #1 Thing That Determines Whether You Can Be Friends with Your Ex

While some former flames make a seamless transition from relationship to friendship, others have a more difficult time. And for some, it's impossible.

Assistant professor of psychology at Syracuse University Laura VanderDrift studies the “dynamics of close relationships,” and she says the best predictor of post-breakup friendship is how committed the partners were when they were still in the relationship. Her research shows that people who were more invested in their romances and more satisfied with the relationship were more likely to want to stay friends after the breakup.

VanderDrift explains people who make a clean break from their ex and stop talking altogether actually have “speedier recoveries from the feelings of love and sadness that accompany the end of a relationship."

VanderDrift says if thinking about your ex makes you feel angry, sad or still in love, you’re not ready to be friends. Eventually, you'll get past those emotions, and when you do, that’s when a friendship could work.

Source: Shape/ Photo: GettyImages

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