βThis isnβt Workingβ = Iβm Over You
Guys are just like any other human being β they want to find love and they want to work on a relationship. You might think that they put zero effort into the relationships that theyβre already in because itβs become such a cliche and stereotype that boyfriends are generally pretty lazy. But thatβs not true because thatβs a pretty crazy generalization. So if your boyfriend tells you that things arenβt working, heβs telling you that heβs over you and heβs already totally and completely over the relationship. He doesnβt want you to believe that thereβs even a slight change of the two of you getting back together. When he says that itβs not working, heβs saying that heβs over you and you should never expect things to work out in the future. So the best thing you can do is accept and move on because there are better guys ahead.
I Like You = Iβm Not Sure
This one might seem a bit harsh but hey, itβs much better to know than to wonder forever. When youβve just started dating a guy β say itβs been a few weeks, or even two months β youβre in that super weird limbo phase. Youβre not quite togetherβ¦ but youβre sure acting like youβre a couple. So you feel like you do have this ownership over him, even though things arenβt totally and completely official yet. Youβre pretty much walking on eggshells at this point in time because youβre not sure what to do, what to say or how to act. You want him to be your boyfriend but you donβt want to move things up too quickly or freak him out. So you have a mini version of The Talk and he says βI like you.β You might think, cool, thatβs great. But what heβs really saying is that heβs not really sure about you and heβs not totally convinced that he wants to keep seeing you.
βIβm Tiredβ = βI Donβt Want To Do Thatβ
Ah, the old tired excuse. The funny thing is that guys use this one too, and they use it for the exact same reason that you do: to get out of doing something that they really and truly donβt want to do. The old joke is that women use this one when they donβt want to sleep with someone (and, of course, they also claim to have a giant headache). But guys donβt use this excuse in the same way. They tend to use this one when they donβt want to go out after a long, hard day at the office or when they donβt feel like going out to dinner with your entire family of 40 plus people. Hey, you canβt really blame him on the last one, right? It can seem a bit immature because you wish that your boyfriend would just say that he didnβt feel like going out and be more honest with you. But while honesty is the best policy, itβs not always possible to be 100 percent honest with the people that we love, so this is the best that itβs going to get.
βI Really Like Youβ = βIβm Falling For Youβ
So how come when a guy says βI like youβ and when he says βI really like youβ itβs totally different? Well, because guys are complicated and they donβt always say what they mean. And they like to make your life confusing. Okay, maybe not that last part, but it does feel like that a lot of the time. When a guy says βI really like youβ he might as well be screaming at the top of his lungs that heβs falling totally in love with you and he canβt even believe how great it is. Thereβs something about adding the βreallyβ that proves that he feels super strongly about you. Sure, you wish that he would just say that he loved you already, but the thing is that he needs to save that for when itβs been at least a little bit of time and when heβs pretty sure that youβre going to say it right back. So when you hear the βreallyβ just be super glad and grateful because your three words wonβt be too far behind.
βI Love Youβ = βYouβre My Future Wifeβ
Yup, guys think about getting married too. You may not believe that because they try their very best to seem all cool and calm all the time. But the truth is that when a guy tells you that he loves you, itβs a big deal. Like a really, really big deal. Heβs not just saying these three little words for the sake of saying them or because he feels pressured or because he figures enough time has passed and he has to say them. Nope, heβs saying them because he means themβ¦ but heβs saying so much more than just that he loves you. Heβs basically saying that he thinks youβre it. Youβre his soulmate. Youβre the only one for him. Youβre his future wife in his mind, whether or not you two have talked about possibly getting married in the futureβ¦ or youβve even discussed your collective future at all. Unless heβs a crazy commitment phobe and has already told you that, he wants to marry you someday. But heβs probably fine with commitment because, hey, heβs your official boyfriend and he said that he loves you. Commitment haters donβt do that.
βCoolβ = βI Donβt Know What To Sayβ
Sorry guys, we had to point this one out because this little exchange happens pretty frequently. Hey, itβs okay. There are tons of things that your boyfriend or the guy youβre dating tells you on a regular basis that youβre not sure how to respond to. So maybe youβre chatting about the plotline of a cheesy girly show that youβre loving right now or even talking about The Real Housewives. Well, heβs a guy and heβs going to get super bored and fast. Heβs not going to want to listen to this chatter, but heβll try to seem like heβs listening because he cares about you and he wants to be as polite as possible. He wins major points for that. You could also be talking about something dramatic that happened at work or even a fight that youβre unfortunately having with your best friend. Heβs not sure what to say or how to respond so he says βcool.β
βI Donβt Knowβ = βIβm Changing The Subjectβ
Guys are sneaky in this way. When they donβt know how to respond, they may say a quick βcoolβ but when they do know how to respond but they donβt want to talk about this for a single second longer, they say βI donβt know.β That is a total and complete clue that theyβre about to change the subject. So watch out and see what they start talking about next. It could be the most random, silliest thing ever and you could be super confused because you were talking about something pretty serious and heavy and now, suddenly, youβre chatting about something totally ridiculous. Well, thereβs a method to their madness and they totally did this on purpose. But itβs all good. Once you figure this out, you can catch them and keep talking about the other topic and get them to open up to you. Yup, two can and will play this game.
βIβm Busyβ = βIβm Not Into Youβ
Yup, another harsh statement to deal with, but hey, you need to know these things. Itβs in your best interests to figure out what guys are saying to you and what they honestly and truly mean. When youβve just started dating a guy β say itβs been a few weeks and itβs still at a pretty casual stage β you obviously want to see them as much as possible. Thatβs just human nature. Youβve finally met a cool guy and you donβt want to waste a single minute. But if he doesnβt feel the same way, heβs not going to make time for you. Plain and simple. When a guy tells you that heβs busy, that means that heβs not interested in hanging out with you anymore and that heβs really not into you. No, it doesnβt actually mean that heβs busy. Because no one is that busy. If you like someone, you want to see them and you make time for them. So remember this because this will probably happen again and at least now youβll know whatβs really going on.
βYou Look Differentβ = βIβm Not Sure I Like Itβ
Boyfriends can really cramp your style, right? One minute youβre feeling like a million bucks because you just bought the perfect red lipstick shade (finally!) or you finally got your hair dyed or cut in that super stylish lob (you know, the super cool long bob that you didnβt think you could pull off but now you see that you definitely can). Then you show your boyfriend and you can just tell from the unhappy and confused look thatβs written all over his face that heβs really not a fan. He says something silly like βYou look differentβ and sure, you can be totally mad because that seems kind of rude and unfair, but what heβs really saying is that heβs not totally sure that he likes it. The truth is that he doesnβt have to like it since hey, itβs your life and you can look however you want to look. You donβt always like the haircuts that he gets, do you? He doesnβt ask your permission. Exactly.
βWork Is Crazyβ = βIβm Dumping Youβ
Oh boys. They love to talk about how busy their work lives are as if you donβt even have a career to speak of. But the truth is that when a guy keeps going on and on about how busy his job is right now, that speaks volumes and you should be listening with all ears. What heβs really saying is that heβs dumping you. He might not be dumping you right in this instant but itβs coming super soon and you really owe it to yourself to be prepared. Or you can dump him first and beat him to the chase because who needs to wait around to be broken up with?! Heβs actually totally and completely hoping that youβre going to catch on and dump him first because thatβs a super smart (and horrible) strategy that lots of guys use. They treat you so badly that you have no other choice but to break up with themβ¦ which they wanted to do but just didnβt for some reason. Sigh.