I have admitted on-air that I like to come home after a night out and eat a burrito, and sometimes fall asleep with it. So I decided to make a list of reasons why a burrito is better than having a boyfriend:
- A burrito’s always warm
- A burrito doesn’t have children with other burritos I don’t know about
- I know where the burrito was last night
- A burrito doesn’t leave a mess all over my bed
- A burrito’s not living at home with mom burrito
- I know that a burrito isn’t sliding into other burritos DMs
- A burrito can’t ruin my credit
- You don’t have to tell a burrito to go wash first
- A burrito ALWAYS pleases me
- When I’m done with a burrito, I don’t have to worry about him calling me
- A burrito doesn’t get mad if I try other burritos
- I always know how much a burrito’s going to cost me
- A burrito doesn’t ask me if it’s better than other burritos
- A burrito doesn’t steal my Netflix password
- A burrito is nice to my cat
- I don’t have to buy a burrito a present on its birthday
- I’m not embarrassed if a burrito sees a naked picture of another burrito on my phone
- A burrito doesn’t ask if he’s the biggest burrito I’ve ever had
- A burrito never gave me no disease
- I expect a burrito to make a mess on my face