Texting is a huge part of our lives and it definitely makes things more convenient, like when you forget what’s on the grocery list and can check with your roommates while you’re at the supermarket. But there are times texting isn’t the right form of communication because you miss so much by not hearing someone’s tone of voice or seeing their facial expressions. And after you have it out with your partner, texting can be tricky.
When you’ve had a fight and you’re upset and want to be heard, but not add fuel to the fire, a text may not be the best way to go. Marriage and family therapist Nicole Richardson explains that it’s so easy to miss nonverbal cues in a text, so as hard as it may be to not hit send when you’re upset, holding off can help end the conflict more smoothly and quickly.
Richardson points out that not being able to see your partner’s facial expressions, tone of voice or body language can make it impossible to interpret a text the way it was intended. And when you’ve just had a fight, she says the worst text to send your partner is “I’m done!” because it can be dismissive and hurtful. So in the heat of the moment, don’t let your frustration take over and don’t send a text like that. You may just end up making the conflict worse and your partner and relationship deserve to talk it out face-to-face, so there’s no miscommunication and you can start to see eye-to-eye again.