According to a new poll, the average person hasn't "let their hair down" and had fun in three weeks. C'mon, people! It's not that hard. Just try anything from today's list of the . . .Top 5 Ways to Have Fun Without Ever Leaving Your House.
Invite someone over . . . who sells weed.
Play your toddler in chess. You'll kick her ass!
Sing your favorite song out loud. Unless it's "We Didn't Start the Fire". Your neighbors don't deserve that.
Look through old photos. But not the ones where you're thin and had hair.
Open a window and listen to nature. Assuming you define "nature" as a homeless guy pleasuring himself.
Teach your pet a new trick. Or, if you own a cat: a new way to express contempt.
Call up someone who makes you laugh. Like your friend who insists the Jets are going to the Super Bowl.
Turn on the TV and take a vodka shot whenever you see Jake from State Farm.
Learn a language. Like French. Or whatever Vin Diesel mumbles.
Pull the window shades and dance like nobody's watching. Because nobody IS watching. Because you have nobody in your life. Sorry, this isn't helping, is it?