Dave Ryan

Dave Ryan

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Ridiculous, True and Funny Movie Laws

These are from movie critic Richard Roeper. He does a bit on Twitter called "Movie Law." He talks about things that will always happen in a movie no matter what when it comes to a scene or something happening in a movie.

Here are some of our favorites!

Movie Law: As everyone in Mission Control applauds and shakes hands and hugs to celebrate the defeat of the doomsday threat, one geek remains glued to their monitor and gets their only line in the movie: "Commander, something's not right, I think you need to take a look at this!"

Movie Law: When the hero storms into the big honcho's headquarters, the assistant will say, "You can't go in there!" and will follow the hero into the office and ask if she should call security, but the honcho will say, "It's all right," and invite the hero to have a seat.

Movie Law: If you go to the kitchen in the middle of the night, someone else will already be there and will say, "Couldn't sleep either?" A surprisingly heartfelt talk will ensue. Sage advice will be given over ice cream or that leftover chicken.

Movie Law: If you say "Stay in the car!" or, "Sit right there and don't you move until I come back!" there's a 90% chance they'll be gone when you return. It's even more likely to happen if you're talking to a child or a whimsical alien from another galaxy.

Movie Law: When the uptight character reluctantly agrees to join the group for "just one drink," we then cut to three hours later, when that same character is hammered and often sinking karaoke or grinding on the dance floor or pounding the table and saying, "I LOVE you guys!"

Movie Law: the oldest child of a single parent won't even try to hide the resentment they feel for the parent's new love interest. Ah, but when a crisis hits and the new love interest steps up, the Resentful Teenager will come around.

Movie Law: The more tentative you are when approaching the microphone for that Big Moment, the higher the odds of screeching feedback.

Movie Law: When TV anchors are receiving breaking news, they must place a hand on the IFB device in their ear.

Movie Law: The longer the driver takes his eyes off the road to engage in heated conversation with his passenger, the greater the odds of being broadsided by that pickup truck or 18-wheeler that came out of nowhere.

Movie Law: When there's a disturbing noise in the dead of night, the couple never wakes up simultaneously. The guy keeps on sleeping until the woman shakes him awake and says, "I think there's someone in the house!"

Movie Law: If you walk into a bar and say, "I'll take a beer," the bartender will just get you a beer instead of saying, "We have 47 different kinds. Can you be more specific?" But if there's a product placement deal, everyone in the bar will be drinking the same brand.

Movie Law: If you're running for your life in a remote locale, it will be nearly impossible to get a cell phone signal--and when you finally do, your battery will be at 3%.

Movie Law: After the FBI or the police leave the crime scene, the anti-hero will spot a key piece of evidence they all missed.

Movie Law: In flashback and period-piece scenes, every single car in the 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, etc., is a brand new model in pristine condition.

Movie Law: When a parent makes a giant breakfast, no one will eat it. Spouse says, "I have that early deposition." Teenager clomps in, takes bite of toast and says, "Swim practice before school!" Even the little one is late for the bus. Parent is left alone in the quiet kitchen.

Movie Law: You never end a phone conversation by saying, "Goodbye." You just...end the call. And then you look at the phone for a moment, as if marveling that you and the other person both knew the call was over without saying goodbye.

Movie law: if you knock out a security guard or police officer or uniformed henchman while trying to escape or infiltrate, their clothes will fit you perfectly! Even the shoes.

Movie Law: Nine out of 10 judges who warn the gallery they'll clear the courtroom if there's one more outburst never clear the courtroom, even though there's almost always at least one more outburst.

Movie Law: if you confess your deepest feelings to someone who's in bed with you, at the end of your heartfelt speech you'll discover the other person is fast asleep. Aw man! Ah, but when you leave the room, your confidant's eyes open. They actually heard EVERYTHING.

Movie Law: if a Cranky Supporting Character (CSC) has a terminal illness (often illustrated by a cough that leaves blood on a handkerchief), said character will try to keep it a secret. When the hero gleans the truth, the CSC will bark, "Don't you tell anyone else about this!"

Movie Law: When you're wrongly accused and on the lam and hiding in plain sight, when the police sketch of you appears on the TV news or shows up in the paper, an eagle-eyed observer will look at you once, twice--and then exclaim, "THAT'S THE GUY, RIGHT THERE!"

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